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Trope-loaded end of the world movies are the hot shit again. If Roland Emmerich hasn’t completely stabbed your brain with his Flaky Nigerian Science, perhaps you can sustain another dose of stupidity after this 2012 business; a dose so strong, this is the first movie I would ever recommend to mandate a drinking game set up before watching with friends. Thanks Alex Proyas (director). Knowing, Kn0w1ng, or XK^NZZZ#1|*I3XG% as it is known in some social circles has a non-sarcasm fantastic premise: A fifty year old time capsule is unearthed and one of the things inside is a string of numbers that when decoded correctly, reveals the dates of past and upcoming worldwide disasters. This movie would have been AAA material if they stuck with that. Instead, the film takes the hardest left turn I’ve ever seen, trying like a train wreck to develop Nicholas Cage character and his kid. But there isn’t much of a convincing relationship going on because Cage hides his discoveries from pretty much everyone. Then the whole thing spirals off into dreams, mysterious Organization XIII people, rocks, and fuck-my-life plot twists that’ll leave you burying your head so far in your hands, the movie becomes an awesome comedy.

That’s where the drinking game comes in. I borrowed a template The Vocabulariast started at some other broken html site and added additional necessity to it. Here are the rules:

Basic Rules:
– Drink every time you see the paper full of numbers
– Drink every time someone does some lame-ass sign language
– Drink every time you see a child staring like a deer in headlights
– Drink every time you see a black stone
– Drink every time you see a mysterious figure
– Drink every time you see a bodycount number
– Drink every time someone dies

Awesome Advanced Rules:
– Drink every time a student in a classroom is unrealistically enthusiastic or gives an unnaturally complex answer to any question.
– Drink every time Nicholas Cage hides what he’s doing from somebody for no apparent reason.
– Drink every time a character reacts or takes action in the physical manifestation of the exact opposite to common sense.
– Drink every time light comes out of somebody’s mouth.
– Drink every time somebody watching with you waves his hands in the air exclaiming “WTF WHAT?! WHY?!!” basically when any character does something absurdly retarded.
– Drink every time Nicholas Cage delivers a line poorly or his dialogue doesn’t make any sense.

I’m telling you friend, you can’t go wrong with this. It’s highly recommended launching the drinking game with people who have not seen the film. Kn0w1ng-z is an interesting run throughout, but impossible to take seriously. Skreesha and Phneri like mocking garbage movies. This is a good pick for such an agenda. Pour a 22oz for a great plot idea ruined in execution by a staff with undocumented brain disease.

[youtube uHw8URgDvxM]

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9 Responses to Knowing – A Drinking Game

  1. skreesha says:

    I was sadly sober while watching this. So unfortunate.

  2. ilduce620 says:

    I borrowed this a month or so ago from a buddy of mine. In retrospect, I think “my buddy” actually hates me and wanted me to experience unimaginable sadness. No amount of beer could make it a good movie.

    On second thought, if you’re going to watch it, you’d better be drinking.

  3. Hennet says:

    This could be a reason to finally watch that movie.

  4. Ryker XL says:

    Based on these rules…I might pass out by the 20 minute mark…

  5. phneri says:

    DJ, you have sold me on this game. Netflix watch instantly and my case of beer will be at the ready. Party chat drunken shenanigans night may be arranged.

  6. leftybrown says:

    Name a time Phenri and I’ll join your party.

  7. MNGwinn says:

    I’d be tempted to join in on a netflix party for this.

  8. Take a drink everytime Cage doesn’t have zombie-like eyes… wait, that won’t work…

  9. fluffy_nuts says:

    i played this last night, have such a hangover and work starts in an hour

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